Every tick of the clock sends you into a panic. Craving more time, but at the same time, letting too much time go. That’s the problem with us, is we don’t cherish the time we have. We spend our days wishing it was some other day, we spend our entire lives waiting. Waiting for the “future” waiting to turn a certain age waiting to get your life together. Waiting for New Years to make a resolution. Time is limitless, so how is it that we never have enough? We invented the clock to tell us how much time we have, but it has turned into an object that reminds of us of the time we don’t have. Truth is, there’s always time. You just never take the time to see it.
Your eyes are red and your body heavy with exhaustion, yet sleep eludes you. Tossing and turning hoping for peace but your mind refuses to cease. Taunting you with the questions, threatening you with rejection. Leaving you helpless against your worst enemy; yourself. Your mind has taken you captive and as much as you try to fight it, you lose. Soon forcing you to answer questions that don’t have answers. These nights are the longest. These are the nights you lose yourself, and remember how easy it is to get comfortable with being alone. The benefit of having yourself as an enemy is that no one knows you better than you know yourself. Your mind doesn’t know that your heart is still awake, you can’t stop thinking of how alone you are, but you can’t help feeling like you’re loved, regardless.